You Win Some, You Lose Some, You Let it Go...

Ah.... so last night after a crazy... and I mean crazy day... I was supposed to have a nice relaxed night with some girls, some sushi and some wine. Remember?  Instead I get a phone call one minute into my PTO meeting at school (Scott's number so I am concerned that something is wrong, so I step out to take the call) that goes a little something like this....

"Mommy?" (It's Ally and I can BARELY hear her or understand her because she is crying so hard)

"Yes honey, what's wrong....????"

At this point, she is so upset... I can't understand a word. I think the worst. That something has happened to them, or Scott and she's gotten to his phone... otherwise why would she be calling me in such a state after what Scott knows is meeting time???

"Mommy my wrist HURTS!!!!!!! And I'm scared and I want you........"

Cue Mommy guilt. Doesn't matter if I'm at work... out with friends.... or at a meeting ultimately FOR HER... I still feel bad if I'm not there any moment that she needs or wants me.  But, the guilt doesn't last long.... and soon turns to frustration in fact, because she has a pretty perfectly capable FATHER right there.... so what is going on?????

"Ally, I am sorry.... I cannot understand you, please put Daddy on...."

Scott explains to me that her wrist hurts, but that it is fine. She is likely freaking out because she watched one of her best friends break her arm recently at gymnastics.. and Ally is doing back handsprings now.... The truth is, her wrist is simply sore from getting used to the motion of what she is doing....

And because I left so abruptly after gymnastics and she was SO upset.... which made Luke join in the fun and he is screaming and crying too.... cuz if his big sister is upset, there must be SOMETHING to be upset about, right????  ;-)

So, there I am... at a meeting I need and want to be at.... with my kids screaming for me.... and Scott seemingly unable to cope with it.  Which, I have to respect because he is ridiculously stressed right now...

I get Ally back on the line and tell her what she needs to do... get changed and comfy.... take some motrin.... soak her hand and wrist in some warm water.... anything to soothe her.  She calms down and it seems as if she can handle it.

But.... between the meeting running a half hour later and the fact that all hell has broken loose at home.... I go straight home after the meeting instead of going out.... and have a glass of wine by myself. So not the same.... :-(

All was well by the time I got home.... but it was for the best that I was there..... I suppose....  ;-)  Just a frustrating night all around for me... because I feel like I need to know that my hubby can handle it when I'm not around.... it's not like I never get out and get a break for me.... I don't know what was different yesterday..... why it didn't work.... maybe just too much during the work and school week.

Scott and I have already committed to not going out as a couple during the week because leaving the kids with sitters on school nights is hard.... breaks the routine of homework and dinner and adds stress.... but I need to be able to attend meetings that I have at school... for Girl Scouts... and sometimes, a dinner or drinks out... whether it be a work dinner (like I have next week) or a night out with some friends... that should be acceptable!!!!!

I told Ally when I got home that she needed to be better for Daddy when I was at meetings for her.... that I wasn't going to be able to continue my involvement in PTO if this was going to be a trend.  She truly loves that I do these things. I can tell she is proud and likes me around at events and just really likes knowing that I'm active in her school life.... so she needs to accept that I'm not going to be home every night as a result of that!

It didn't help that I was gone the night before too... at another parent meeting for HER mind you..... and I hope weeks like this are few and far between... and I'm not gone, throwing everything out of routine for everyone too many nights in a row.....

My kids thrive on routine... and SUCK at transitions.  All kids (and ADULTS) have a hard time with the transitions.... but my kids are particularly sensitive to them. Whether in be the transition from sleeping to waking up.... school to home... Nana's to home... the hand off from Mom to Dad.... it's always a struggle and requires a TON of extra patience on our part..... which, unfortunately Scott just didn't have yesterday....

Sigh........ you win some, you lose some, you let it go.....