This has double meaning.... I feel like a stranger to you all don't I? I so suck at keeping this blog updated!!!!!!! Also... our little man Luke, is in full on STRANGER DANGER mode. In fact, I think he just hates everyone frankly....
This morning, after a long, horrid weekend of sickness all around.... I took Luke to the doctor. It all starts in the waiting room. As soon as the nurse comes to the door and calls his name for us to come back, he just starts wailing! And not your little wimpy cry either... no, this is a full-on, painful wail!!!! With the shakes and everything! He absolutely hates the doctor's office.
So... we get weighed and have our temperature taken. We weigh 27 pounds and 11 oz, fully dressed and WITH our blankie. :-) Our temp is around 99. Not too bad. Better than Sunday.
After the nurse leaves, I get him calmed down. Then, the fun really starts when the DOCTOR comes in!!!! This doctor is SO MEAN... she invades his space. Listens to his heart and lungs. Looks in his ears and mouth. Checks out his vital organs. I mean, this is terrible stuff for a 20 month old. He is carrying on in such a ridiculous manner one would think she is beating him with a baseball bat!
I am surprised he didn't explosively shit himself..... see previous post. :-))))
Ugh. The poor little guy. Seems that a nasty virus has just invaded his body. Ears good. Lungs good. Throat, fine. Becuase of the temp, they did swab his nose for the flu virus, so we will find out on that tomorrow. Probably just a cold though......
Great way to wrap up our weekend..... the weekend from hell started a little something like this:
While driving home from work on Friday afternoon, I got rear ended in Spring Arbor. UGH! I was driving home to try to get the kids by 5:15 so we could go to a community picnic at the school before the football game. And, of course, I get hit by a big ole white van. Someone was turning left off M-60 onto Teft and I was slowing down to stop behind them... I saw in my rear view mirror that this van was SO NOT GOING to do the same behind me... so I started to get over.... they still hit me, but luckily my car was no longer poised right behind the car in front of me, so instead of my car getting crunched from both ends, just the back is all jacked up.
I am actually surprised the damage to my car appeared as little as it did. Huge safety kudos to the Nissan Murano! That thing takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin!!!
So... it wasn't my fault and I don't have to pay a thing, even the deductible... but it's still an annoyance that I have to be without my car for a week once they get the parts in.
We still made it to the picnic on time and a bit of the football game! Luke and I only stayed through halftime... and Scott and Ally watched it all. Concord actually won in overtime, so they saw a great game....... Luke and I were tuckered out from our days of car crashes and colds.
Saturday, Scott woke up feeling HORRID. He was convinced he had strep both Saturday and Sunday because his throat hurt that bad. A doctor's appointment this morning proved he doesn't, which is good for the rest of us. But... I'm still waiting to get this cold. I always do :-(
Luke wasn't doing so well either and frankly, Ally is still on an antibiotic and she doesn't seem to have an energy as a result... so we had a pretty lazy Saturday. Watched some football. Took some naps. Made some chicken chili.
Sunday came around... and I had to get the kids out... no matter how anyone was feeling. Two days in the house is hell. One is barely tolerable. Scott couldn't swing it... so the kids and I went out and about.... the entire purpose for our day was to get to an open house at the Jackson School of the Arts because we wanted to sign Ally up for some art classes that they offer.
Ally absolutely loves to draw, paint and color. She loves it!!! In fact, a painting that she did in Kindergarten last year was selected for the Art a Loan program here in Jackson (if you go to the link, her's is the Crab). We are excited to go see her art at the Ella Sharp Museum where it is professionally displayed. She even has an official "exhibit and reception" in October. How freakin' cute is that?!?
So... we were excited to get the flier about the Open House.... and then...
After we actually WENT to the place, we were even more excited! This place is just adorable and it's really exciting that Jackson HAS something like this to offer. I always assume I have to go to Ann Arbor or the like to get these sorts of opportunities that really are in our backyard! I forget to give Jackson the benefit of the doubt sometimes, ya know!?!
Not only is Ally going to take a really amazing art class, but she is also going to take ballet at the school. They offer a variety of art, dance and even theater classes!!!! You really need to check this place out...
She is so excited to get started... tomorrow! I'm excited to keep her busy because I think she needs it... and hope we are able to keep up with getting her there twice a week. It's no small task to get out to Concord to pick her up after work... then, get back to Jackson for class... but, what is life if you don't have a little over scheduling? It's how we operate in the McIntosh household...
.... Where chaos rules!!!!
Happy Monday people!!!!! I wish you all HEALTH! :-)
Monday, September 14, 2009
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Traveling with the Devil...
I have many, many wonderful things to say about my travels over the past two weeks... and I have every intention of getting to that... but first I must start at the end... because it's such a VERY good place to start.....
"Our Flight Home from North Carolina"
Screenplay by: Nicole McIntosh
Starring: Luke McIntosh
Supporting Cast: Allison McIntosh, Nicole McIntosh, Cathy McIntosh, Jane Dawson, Grace Dawson
What you are about to read were atual events that took place on Sunday, August 30, 2009.... the names have NOT been changed. There are no innocent parties to protect. Only guilty...
After a long, tiring, but wonderful week on the Outer Banks of North Carolina.... the McIntosh family must make the long journey home back to Michigan... for the past two years, the men (my father-in-law, brother-in-law and husband) have driven while us women (my mother-in-law, sister-in-law and I) fly with the children (Luke, Ally and Grace - my children and niece).
We fly into Norfolk, VA as it is the closest airport to the Outer Banks. We rent a minivan from there and it is about a 3 hour drive by car to reach our destination....
Sunday morning, we have to check out of our cottage by 10 am. Since our flight is not until 4:00 pm... we have some time to "kill" before we go to the airport. We take a leisurely drive up to Duck on the Island... and do a little shopping before we head to our prechosen lunch location. We know we need to hit this fabulous Southern Style restaurant because last year the fried chicken was to die for! Duck was very quaint... shopping went well. I bought the kids each a final "souvenier" at this adorable toy store. And we looked at some little boutiques to pass our time.
We then head to lunch... and are disappointed to learn that the place has changed ownership and does not have the same food we had last year. A bit of a bummer... but we are there and have to eat.... so we do....
We head to the airport.... and I am going to drop the kids, my mother-in-law and Jane off at the curb to make it easier.... I will drop the rental off on my own. We reach the curbside drop off point.... and start to unload.... we cannot... for the life of us... get Luke's carseat out!!!!! We are either too weak to manage or just too dumb to work the thing correctly... but we have to ask two police officers to assist us because (of course) we don't have the freakin' time to mess around with this... as we like to cut everything pretty close and we just have enough time to run to our gate for departure.
The police officers (yes, it took two) were able to get the seat out, thank god.... and I did about 90 around the airport to return the car to the rental company. I run to the terminal in time to help check the car seats in with Jane... we then run towards our gate.....
Uh oh.... STARBUCKS.... it's been over a week since I've had an iced latte. Must stop quickly and get one.
Fatal error. Fatal.
Luke sees this latte as ICE CREAM. He is convinced I just got some sort of ice cream drink and that he is missing out. He starts to scream at the top of his little 20 month old lungs.....
"I CEAM!!!!!! I CEAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I give him a sip... thinking this will prove to him that is NOT in fact ice cream.... but the little shit LIKES it and keeps screaming for MORE!
"MOY!!! MOY!!!"
I am under no circumstances giving this child espresso. Holy shit. Not a good plan!!!!!!!
So, the fight begins. He is not happy. I try to calm him. He is pissed............
We go to our gate and our seats are unassigned. WTF? They assign them as we board... and Ally and I are not together. I explain to the friendly gate attendee that this "ain't gonna work for me buddy..." :-) He asks me to board last and that he will take care of "moving individuals around"
I am in the very front row (small plane, no first class)... so the poor bastard who has to move gives up his front row aisle seat. For what seat in what row, I don't know, but I'm sure it was not as good.... and I'm damn glad I'm not the one asking him to give up his seat.....
We sit down..... and Ally has a total and complete BREAK DOWN that there is no tray!!!!! The front row has no seat in front of it... so therefore, no tray visible. I, of course, know the tray comes out of the side... but cannot convey this to her fast enough. She is in full meltdown mode. Holy shit. You have GOT to be KIDDING me. Over a tray. Seriously?
So..... we overcome that......... I show Ally the tray. She starts to breathe normally. In the meantime...... Luke is barely holding on by a thread. He's really quite upset...... and becoming more and more so as the minutes tick by.
Jane hands me a sucker......
This calms him for a couple minutes......
The flight attendant brings beverages around. She asks me what I would like. Seriously? Think I can balanace a cup of liquid and these two children? REALLY lady? REALLY???? Ally asks for cranberry juice. We pull her tray out.....
You can see where this is headed, can't you?
Oh yeah... cranberry juice goes flyin...... all over her precious stuffed animal, her back pack and her new toy....... meltdown city. She is heartbroken................ tears, tears, tears........
Luke starts to lose it again......
Jane hands me Grace's milk......
He throws it......
Here we go. Full. F-in. Meltdown.
We are screaming. We are ANGRY! He is screaming at the top of his lungs.... GO!!!! DOWN!!!!! OUT!!!!!! He wants off this plane. Believe me buddy... I do to!!!!!!!! His face is bright red. He is kicking.... he is strong as hell and it takes every ounce of my strength to hold on to him and keep him in my lap. This goes on for quite some time. Felt like two hours... probably 10 minutes...
My mother-in-law is seated a couple rows back..... she tries to take him.... this does not go well. I take him back and he is even angrier than before.
Jane hands me another sucker......
My mother-in-law takes him and tries standing up with him up near the cockpit.... he throws the sucker. He hates the world. He hates suckers. He hates planes. He is one angry little shit.......
So angry that he has explosive diarhea............ oh yeah......... shit everywhere............ it's lovely.
We go back to the very scary, tiny bathroom to change his diaper...... I am balancing his screaming, smelly, shitty ass..... the diaper and wipes in there.... I put the diaper down and it falls into the sink, which is OF COURSE full of water........ I desperately try to dry the diaper. I cannot make the trip back to my seat to get another........
He is screaming all the while. This time, screams of complete horror for the place he is in. He cannot believe I have placed him on a table in this scary, loud closet!!!!!!! Totally freaking out......... we use all the wipes in the case to clean him.... change him......... rediaper him......... and get the hell out of there.........
He starts to calm as I walk down the aisle. I stay standing for a while at my seat with him. He is calming down........... THANK YOU SWEET BABY JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The flight attendant tells me I need to take my seat. I mentally stab her with a large knife.......
Luckily, Luke is okay with this............ the bathroom did him in......... he is physically exhausted...... he passes out..... I hear the pilot say we are landing......
That's about right............
So, the little shit sleeps for the last 15 minutes of the flight. At least there were those 15 minutes of silence on the 1 1/2 hour journey. I am certain everyone on the plane wishes me dead.
We land...... still sleeping....... we have to wait forever on the runway...... still sleeping........ we arrive at our gate and everyone starts to get up and commotion ensues. Luke wakes up. Oh lord....... he is pissed, pissed, PISSED at this. For some reason, the freakin' jetway is taking about forever to get to our plane.................... and all the bastards are standing up in the aisle....... not letting ME with the screaming child stand up....... did they NOT notice this is what shut him up the last time?
No........ they are in a hurry to get off that plane......... I guess I can respect that...............
We finally start to move off.
I get the stroller and put him it it... my arms are so weak I can barely push the stroller........
Luke absolutely FLIPS out in the stroller.......... OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DOWN!!!!!!!!!! He is screaming as he is trying to work his way out. I am RUNNING down the jetway with him......... holding the stroller all the way back so he can't get out............. but he has turned himself all the way around... onto his belly and is sliding off the front of the stroller...... "DOWN!!!!!" he continues to yell........ and his literally hanging on to the stroller front.... and hanging off the front as I continue to run off the plane.....................
We get into the airport and he breaks free of the stroller.... and starts to run as fast as he can BACK TO THE DAMN PLANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Really? You really want to go BACK there buddy? REALLY????????
A disgruntled passenger runs interference for me and grabs him.
I am hysterical at this point......... hysterical.............
Mommy needs a drink. Stat.
"Our Flight Home from North Carolina"
Screenplay by: Nicole McIntosh
Starring: Luke McIntosh
Supporting Cast: Allison McIntosh, Nicole McIntosh, Cathy McIntosh, Jane Dawson, Grace Dawson
What you are about to read were atual events that took place on Sunday, August 30, 2009.... the names have NOT been changed. There are no innocent parties to protect. Only guilty...
After a long, tiring, but wonderful week on the Outer Banks of North Carolina.... the McIntosh family must make the long journey home back to Michigan... for the past two years, the men (my father-in-law, brother-in-law and husband) have driven while us women (my mother-in-law, sister-in-law and I) fly with the children (Luke, Ally and Grace - my children and niece).
We fly into Norfolk, VA as it is the closest airport to the Outer Banks. We rent a minivan from there and it is about a 3 hour drive by car to reach our destination....
Sunday morning, we have to check out of our cottage by 10 am. Since our flight is not until 4:00 pm... we have some time to "kill" before we go to the airport. We take a leisurely drive up to Duck on the Island... and do a little shopping before we head to our prechosen lunch location. We know we need to hit this fabulous Southern Style restaurant because last year the fried chicken was to die for! Duck was very quaint... shopping went well. I bought the kids each a final "souvenier" at this adorable toy store. And we looked at some little boutiques to pass our time.
We then head to lunch... and are disappointed to learn that the place has changed ownership and does not have the same food we had last year. A bit of a bummer... but we are there and have to eat.... so we do....
We head to the airport.... and I am going to drop the kids, my mother-in-law and Jane off at the curb to make it easier.... I will drop the rental off on my own. We reach the curbside drop off point.... and start to unload.... we cannot... for the life of us... get Luke's carseat out!!!!! We are either too weak to manage or just too dumb to work the thing correctly... but we have to ask two police officers to assist us because (of course) we don't have the freakin' time to mess around with this... as we like to cut everything pretty close and we just have enough time to run to our gate for departure.
The police officers (yes, it took two) were able to get the seat out, thank god.... and I did about 90 around the airport to return the car to the rental company. I run to the terminal in time to help check the car seats in with Jane... we then run towards our gate.....
Uh oh.... STARBUCKS.... it's been over a week since I've had an iced latte. Must stop quickly and get one.
Fatal error. Fatal.
Luke sees this latte as ICE CREAM. He is convinced I just got some sort of ice cream drink and that he is missing out. He starts to scream at the top of his little 20 month old lungs.....
"I CEAM!!!!!! I CEAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I give him a sip... thinking this will prove to him that is NOT in fact ice cream.... but the little shit LIKES it and keeps screaming for MORE!
"MOY!!! MOY!!!"
I am under no circumstances giving this child espresso. Holy shit. Not a good plan!!!!!!!
So, the fight begins. He is not happy. I try to calm him. He is pissed............
We go to our gate and our seats are unassigned. WTF? They assign them as we board... and Ally and I are not together. I explain to the friendly gate attendee that this "ain't gonna work for me buddy..." :-) He asks me to board last and that he will take care of "moving individuals around"
I am in the very front row (small plane, no first class)... so the poor bastard who has to move gives up his front row aisle seat. For what seat in what row, I don't know, but I'm sure it was not as good.... and I'm damn glad I'm not the one asking him to give up his seat.....
We sit down..... and Ally has a total and complete BREAK DOWN that there is no tray!!!!! The front row has no seat in front of it... so therefore, no tray visible. I, of course, know the tray comes out of the side... but cannot convey this to her fast enough. She is in full meltdown mode. Holy shit. You have GOT to be KIDDING me. Over a tray. Seriously?
So..... we overcome that......... I show Ally the tray. She starts to breathe normally. In the meantime...... Luke is barely holding on by a thread. He's really quite upset...... and becoming more and more so as the minutes tick by.
Jane hands me a sucker......
This calms him for a couple minutes......
The flight attendant brings beverages around. She asks me what I would like. Seriously? Think I can balanace a cup of liquid and these two children? REALLY lady? REALLY???? Ally asks for cranberry juice. We pull her tray out.....
You can see where this is headed, can't you?
Oh yeah... cranberry juice goes flyin...... all over her precious stuffed animal, her back pack and her new toy....... meltdown city. She is heartbroken................ tears, tears, tears........
Luke starts to lose it again......
Jane hands me Grace's milk......
He throws it......
Here we go. Full. F-in. Meltdown.
We are screaming. We are ANGRY! He is screaming at the top of his lungs.... GO!!!! DOWN!!!!! OUT!!!!!! He wants off this plane. Believe me buddy... I do to!!!!!!!! His face is bright red. He is kicking.... he is strong as hell and it takes every ounce of my strength to hold on to him and keep him in my lap. This goes on for quite some time. Felt like two hours... probably 10 minutes...
My mother-in-law is seated a couple rows back..... she tries to take him.... this does not go well. I take him back and he is even angrier than before.
Jane hands me another sucker......
My mother-in-law takes him and tries standing up with him up near the cockpit.... he throws the sucker. He hates the world. He hates suckers. He hates planes. He is one angry little shit.......
So angry that he has explosive diarhea............ oh yeah......... shit everywhere............ it's lovely.
We go back to the very scary, tiny bathroom to change his diaper...... I am balancing his screaming, smelly, shitty ass..... the diaper and wipes in there.... I put the diaper down and it falls into the sink, which is OF COURSE full of water........ I desperately try to dry the diaper. I cannot make the trip back to my seat to get another........
He is screaming all the while. This time, screams of complete horror for the place he is in. He cannot believe I have placed him on a table in this scary, loud closet!!!!!!! Totally freaking out......... we use all the wipes in the case to clean him.... change him......... rediaper him......... and get the hell out of there.........
He starts to calm as I walk down the aisle. I stay standing for a while at my seat with him. He is calming down........... THANK YOU SWEET BABY JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The flight attendant tells me I need to take my seat. I mentally stab her with a large knife.......
Luckily, Luke is okay with this............ the bathroom did him in......... he is physically exhausted...... he passes out..... I hear the pilot say we are landing......
That's about right............
So, the little shit sleeps for the last 15 minutes of the flight. At least there were those 15 minutes of silence on the 1 1/2 hour journey. I am certain everyone on the plane wishes me dead.
We land...... still sleeping....... we have to wait forever on the runway...... still sleeping........ we arrive at our gate and everyone starts to get up and commotion ensues. Luke wakes up. Oh lord....... he is pissed, pissed, PISSED at this. For some reason, the freakin' jetway is taking about forever to get to our plane.................... and all the bastards are standing up in the aisle....... not letting ME with the screaming child stand up....... did they NOT notice this is what shut him up the last time?
No........ they are in a hurry to get off that plane......... I guess I can respect that...............
We finally start to move off.
I get the stroller and put him it it... my arms are so weak I can barely push the stroller........
Luke absolutely FLIPS out in the stroller.......... OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DOWN!!!!!!!!!! He is screaming as he is trying to work his way out. I am RUNNING down the jetway with him......... holding the stroller all the way back so he can't get out............. but he has turned himself all the way around... onto his belly and is sliding off the front of the stroller...... "DOWN!!!!!" he continues to yell........ and his literally hanging on to the stroller front.... and hanging off the front as I continue to run off the plane.....................
We get into the airport and he breaks free of the stroller.... and starts to run as fast as he can BACK TO THE DAMN PLANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Really? You really want to go BACK there buddy? REALLY????????
A disgruntled passenger runs interference for me and grabs him.
I am hysterical at this point......... hysterical.............
Mommy needs a drink. Stat.
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