Luke says.... 3/31/11

- Fracie told me she gonna grow up be a dr. I told Fracie I gonna grow up be a turtle.

- I like your hands mommy.

- When I get my haircut, I play on the hippo until it's time for my haircut.

- Are they gonna cut the back of your hair mommy? I don't want them cut back of your hair!

- I like Lipgloss on my lips too.

- I'm cold without Ally.

- I am grumpy Mommy.

- Later when we go to Nana's, I don't want to give you kisses and hugs. I'm tired of those kisses and hugs.

- (After a tantrum and time out) I'm sorry mommy. I'm sorry I was angry with you.

- Bananas are healthy!

- I'm tired of eating cookies. All the cookies are gone anyway.


-- Post From My iPhone

Sibling Love...

Tonite was such a good night. Seriously a perfect afternoon and evening. One of those days that you just want to bottle. I, personally had a super accomplished day at work. Picked Luke up after work and headed to watch Ally at gymnastics. I hadn't seen her do bars in a while and I needed to chat with her coach, so off we went.... Luke was happy to go and see Ally and her girls... Ally rocked the bars and floor. I am amazed at her progress in these past six months. Chatted with her coach about her summer schedule and camp. Whew. That's gonna take some figuring out..... ;)

We came home and I fed the kids dinner right away. They went off to play and I made Scott and I dinner. The kids sat down while we were eating.... Luke had a bowl of cereal and ally did her homework. Scott and I caught up on our day and the kids were happy.....

Ally started tumbling in the living room. A nightly activity here. Luke was trying to do it with her in his own way. She stopped what she was doing and helped him do a front roll. Over and over again. In such a tender way, I wanted to cry. She protected his head and neck while he flipped. And it was just so cute. :).

Then, he asked Ally to read him the two stories he gets at bedtime. They shared hot chocolate before bed and Ally read him his two favorite stories. "My Heart is Like a Zoo" and "L M N O Peas". I went in after to kiss him goodnight and he was so proud to report what she read. He kissed me goodnight and that was that. Silence ever since.

I could get used to Ally having this job nightly. I will even pay her to do it. Although.... I think she was pretty proud she did it and Luke so happy to have her love and attention for that time.

Ugh. They can be so sweet. :). Bottling this moment. :)


-- Post From My iPhone

Weekend...

Had such a great weekend. Didn't do anything terribly special. Nothing grand. But it was all the little things that added up to a perfect weekend. Know what I mean??

Ally was pretty sick Wednesday thur Friday. We stayed home all day Thursday and Friday. Not easy for me to do but a necessary evil for Ally to rest and heal. Not easy for her to do either.... So we made the best of it. We played games. She and Luke played together better than I can ever remember them playing. They fought very little. We watched lots of movies and fell in and out of sleep in bed (well ally did!). No naps for me and Luke. ;)

I made her whatever she wanted to eat and just tried to make a crappy couple days, not so bad. She hates being sick. Who doesn't. But she can get rageful.... So I did what I could to help and ease her pain...

By Saturday, she really turned a corner... So I thought we would venture into the land of the living. We all made our way to Briarwood and did lots of shopping for the kids. They both need summer clothes and trying all that warm weather stuff on can really lift your spirits. Scott is such an awesome hubby and dad when it comes to this kind of thing. He comes into the fitting room and watches Ally try things on and makes her feel like a princess. Even Luke would ooh and ahh. ;).

We took it slow and just let the kids take the lead. Stopped shopping to sit and have snacks and something to drink. Stopped to play in the play area. And eventually had dinner at their fave. California Pizza Kitchen. They love that place. :). Scott and I enjoyed wine and the kids were angels....

Today Ally and I went to church and I spent a couple hours with Kristen, just chatting and catching up. A very nice visit. The whole family went to Jane and Adams for dinner and we had a great visit there too. The kids played the day away and we watched Lyla crawl for the first time.

A full and wonderful weekend. Here's to an equally great week!!!!


-- Post From My iPhone

Mommies Gone Wild...

So, this past weekend, on Friday... a group of Mommies went out to Duck Lake and had a little Mommy Sleepover.  No kids. No husbands.  No responsibilities for one whole night.  Jane brought out fajitas from Los Tres... I made my famous guacamole... others made bean dip.... cookies... rice krispie treats... we had tons of snack foods... and even more alcohol.  :-)

It started out well enough... we all sat around the big table.... ate, drank, laughed.... told funny stories... shared our trials (usually our mom trials).... some people even got crafty...... and the wine, beer, tequila and vodka kept flowing....

At some point.... we decided shots were in order and then... we really got that party started.  :-)  I will simply cover some of the high points of the night, bullet style:

• Damn... I should have brought brownies!!!!!!!
• I can't believe how much you all swear!
• Hexies!!!!!!
• Sadie, did you poop your pants?  Is that poop???
• Katie and her Sinex
• Jane pulling down everyone's pants
• Jane and her love for the rocking chair
• Handstands
• Polar plunge anyone?
• My putting towels in the dryer cuz I was convinced everyone was gonna die of hypothermia
• Marlboro Lights in Stephanie's car.... she drove away in a Huff with free gift!!
• Nicole's sock on the front porch
• God Bless America.....
• If you drop the flag on the floor, you have to burn it!
• Sunglasses!
• Write your name on your shot cup!
• I licked the tequila I spilled off the counter.... waste nothing!
• Katie pouring the wine in Sadie's mouth.... over and over again...
• Flip cup!
• Nicole lost all ability to take a decent picture...
• Nicole punching LeeAnn in the face... true friends
• I puked and I feel much better!
• Nicole and Katie's failed attempt to steal the go-kart
• P-O-T-S!!!!!!!!!
• I'm almost a nurse!!
• Can you see my hamburger?

Good times.... great laughs.... we definitely MUST do it again.  :-) Some pictures for your laughing pleasure....

Sibling Stuff...

A quick post so I can remember what my kids are up to this evening:

Oh how my children crack me up sometimes.  The make me crazy... make me cry... but more than ever, they make me laugh.....

They have such a love/hate relationship!!!  Remember Ally's explanation that Luke is the bane of her existence??  Well, today she has been nothing but the attentive big sister. She asked if she could get his snack for him. She has spoken kindly and softly to him. Allowing him to play all he wants with her very special "Littlest Pet Shop" toys.

She is feeling rather crappy today... complaining of a sore throat and she feels warm to me. Although I have not taken her temp... it's just a mom's intuition.... she's warm.  ;-)  So.... Luke just walked up to me and announced he is going to do a puppet show for Ally with the pets to "make her feel better."  How freakin' sweet is that???

This is not long after he came stomping out of her room announcing that she won't play with him... to which I responded "Luke, Ally's not feeling well, so she needs to lay down."  He says to me.... "but she got up.... like THIS!!!!"  And proceeds to lay on the floor and demonstrate how one might stand up from a laying down position.  As if to say "she is well enough to STAND... she is well enough to PLAY!"  HAHA!!!!  Kid... you crack me up....  :-))))))

Luke is now dancing and singing to himself in the living room. Every time I look his way he yells "don't look at me Mommy!!!"  ;-)

Daddy just got home... and Luke screams with delight.... "I see Daddy's car! He's home! Daddy!!!!"

We are having the McIntosh tried and true sickness cure...  "runny spaghetti" this evening.  Spaghetti with tomato juice... tons of garlic and butter.  :-)  It cures a cold... sore throat... and the flu.

Here's to hoping Ally feels better... but she has already informed me that she thinks she wants to stay home.... she probably shouldn't have gone to school today as it was... so I am thinking a lazy day could be just what the doctor ordered....

Muffins with Mom....

This morning, Queens hosted a Muffins with Mom event for Reading Month at the school.  All the Moms, Aunts or Grandma's got to attend a nice little breakfast even with the students and READ with them!!!!  It was a really nice time... and a great way to kick off my day.  Just being able to spend a half an hour, one on one with Ally... without Luke screaming for attention... was just so nice for both of us. I know she greatly appreciates the one on one time... and so do I!  She chose three books to take and read... some oldies but goodies... "How to Be a Baby: By Me, the Big Sister," "Someday," and "My Name is Not Isabella!"

We both chose a mini blueberry muffin and chocolate milk....  :-) Sat with our buddies, the Manchesters, and thoroughly enjoyed our time together....

Yesterday, Ally and I met with our therapist and started talking about some of the ways we can work toward making our household a more peaceful  place.  It was interesting to sit and listen to how Ally characterizes her "fits" and how she centers everything around Luke.  At least in her early descriptions of what makes her the 'Most Mad' - it is all Luke.  ;-)  Interesting for certain.  She was asked to describe how she feels when she gets really angry and she described it as "red and hot in the face" which I thought was a GREAT way to really describe it.  That's what the therapist is really looking for... physical descriptors, use of colors... she had told us that in our initial meeting with her.  And Ally obliged right out of the gate.  We talked, the three of us for half the session... and then, Ally went back alone with her and talked some more.  It must have gone well because Ally was bummed when the session was over and told her she couldn't wait to see her next week.... that's reassuring......

The therapist gave Ally a note card that has a triangle and some words around it.  She told us Ally could talk to us about it when she was ready.  Ally wasn't ready last night and we didn't push.  On top of day one of therapy, Ally started with a sore throat last night...  :-(  And complaints of a headache.  I am pretty sure she pushed through to go to school today just because of the Muffins with Mom event.  And I am banking on a phone call to pick her up at some point today. We shall see. She sometimes tries too hard to be a tough kid.......

Ally & Gymnastics...

Ally has been going to Syd's for gymnastics here in town since the beginning of the school year. She really loves it there.  She has been in a class with two other classmates from Queens... and it works so nicely.  I have really seen her grow over the year too. She has perfected lots of tumbling... she can do a mean cartwheel and roundoff.  :-)  Yesterday I went to watch her (not something I do each week) and she pretty munch landed her roundoff - back handspring with very little assistance.  I love the look on her face when she accomplishes something like that. She is so proud. I love the look of determination when she messes it up the first time and her coach tells her to go right back and do it again and she lands it.  It is awesome to see.

At the beginning of the year... she hated vault... now, she loves it.  She can also land a cartwheel on the beam and her progress on bars has been amazing. Their coach class her class "her bars girls" because they all excel at bars. Their class time is at the same time as the "big girls" on the team... so sometimes they use the little girls to demonstrate something on bars... the littler girls have no fear... so Ally's handstand was recently used to demonstrate form. You should see how she beamed at that. :-)

Yesterday after class, her coach informs me that she would like to put Ally at level four next year and put her on the team.  Ally could barely contain herself... she was ever so slightly jumping up and down next to me while Marcie and I talked.  Another classmate (from Queens) of hers is at that level and she looked at me and said "I never EVER thought I would catch up to Cara, Mom!!!"  She was just so excited........ 

It was a good day for the little gymnast in her.  She went on and on about how much she loves Syd's and the girls there.  The "big" girls had just won a meet the previous weekend, so they got to have a "fun day" with the little girls.  You could not see happier little eight year olds... as they were being helped and supported by the high school age girls.  I am constantly impressed with the girls' patience and genuine happiness to help the little girls. They cheer them on... and are just their biggest fans.  It's adorable to watch.

So, on we go...... gymnastics camps this summer... and the start of competition next year....  I hope her excitement level stays where it is and it continues to be something she has FUN at...... I'm all about the fun in it......  ;-)

Of course, her Daddy's sigh was audible when I gave him the news.......  :-))))))))))))))))

Mexico 2011...

Oh Mexico.... it is our happy place. The one place where Scott and I find we can totally relax! We have only gone without our kids though... so there is that!  ;-)  But, there's something about Mexico that really allows us complete stress-free "living".  We absolutely love it.

I think it's the All-Inclusive resort to be quite honest.  We would probably be happy at an All-Inclusive almost anywhere. There is something to be said for completely paying for everything, up front and having virtually NO out of pocket expenses while you were there. We probably spent $20 in random tipping (and you are NOT expected to do even this, but we do) and then $60 in souvenirs for the kids. That's it.  As you eat and drink and drink and eat the entire time you're there... it is just so care-free!  Cuz you aren't paying for a thing as you go.  So... you over eat... and over drink... but that's the best part of vacation anyway!!!

We absolutely loved our resort.  It was gorgeous.  Clean, just the right size. We had nine restaurants to choose from.  A grill, poolside that was always grab and go food for when you got the munchies. A coffee shop that could rival any Starbucks.  Ice cream. Always.  Room service (not that we utilized it at all).  The rooms were gorgeous.  The staff was overly helpful and friendly.  The beach was amazing... the list goes on.  It was a resort I would return to in a heartbeat!!!!

While we didn't take our kids, they did allow kids there (some resorts are adult only) and they had a lot of great activities for the kids. An Explorers Club, so you could have adult time while your kids participated in activities.... and they had a GREAT kids pool!  I could really see us taking the kids back there with us next year or maybe the year after... when Luke is five.... but then Ally would be (gulp!) TEN.... and she's really ready now!  Things to ponder.......

So.... we arrived on Friday.... and went straight to the pool/ocean-side restaurant for a meal and some mojitos! We were already greeted at the reception desk with cool towels and a glass of champagne - which I slammed. We had a crazy lady on our transfer van... who made me need a drink PRONTO when we got there.  Holy crap! She was drunk and loud and obnoxious as hell and just trashy! Thank god she was not at our resort!

We check in, after some trauma with our credit card (we should really have phone them before traveling as they locked our card because it triggered their fraud protection - us being in Mexico!).  Went and started eating and drinking.....  It was glorious!!!!  Just to be in the sun hours after leaving the ice and snow in Detroit!  We didn't get pool time Wednesday because it was just too late... so we enjoyed a long late afternoon snack... some drinks... and then, what we did everyday... a NAP!!!!!  We napped... and then, freshened up for dinner.... and more drinks.  The first night we ate at the Italian restaurant and it was delicious!!!!!!  We had a bottle of Tempranillo (red wine) and enjoyed every moment of our delectable meal together........

Saturday, we enjoyed the pool.... all day long... a nap poolside... many drinks.... and we dined at the Asian Restaurant that evening.  Amazing sushi, spring rolls, pad thai and martinis!!!!  Sunday was a great day... maybe not for Scott. After lunch and our afternoon poolside nap, which was becoming a habit.... he woke up before I did... and made some friends at the swim up bar.  Many drinks and shots later... he passed out at the pool.....  and never made it to dinner.  I got a salad to go at the buffet that evening, and ironically enough... watched Hangover (the movie) in bed while he was passed out beside me.  I will never let him live this down.  :-)))))

Monday, he rallied... and we enjoyed the pool.... more naps... more drinks... and the Tex-Mex place for dinner.... Tuesday, more of the same by day, and the French Restaurant for dinner... our last night... and one of the best meals.  I had a giant shrimp (which I could not eat) and a great filet mignon!  As you can see... our vacation revolved around four things.... the food... the drink.... the pool (or ocean) and the nap. That's what we went for.  Time away together. Time to talk and reconnect. Time to REST and relax.  And just the time to have no schedule or need to DO anything at all.

It was more than I hoped it would be. It was a perfect vacation... and I am so thankful we took it!!!!!  Here are some pictures for you viewing pleasure.....

 

Dreams....

We were assigned our resort!!!!!!! We are staying at the Dreams Riviera Cancun Resort!!!!! We leave tomorrow morning and will have a drink in hand, poolside in about 24 hours from now.  Hooray!!!  :-)  This break could not have come at a better time for us....  I am going to relax and leave my troubles behind for just a little while.... enjoy some much needed time connecting with my hubby!!!!

See ya later, alligators!!!!!!!!!  :-)

Peacefully Perfect Night....

It never ceases to amaze me that one night can be pure hell at home and the next night as perfect as can be. We had such a wonderful afternoon and evening tonite and I thank God it was so because I'm not sure I could have handled another doozy. ;)

Ally had girl scouts after school today and I volunteered at the meeting. I was concerned how it would go.... But it went great! Ally was normal. Surrounded by her friends. Seemingly happy. Acted like any other kid there.....

She did apologize to her friend and her friend responded with an apology for making her feel left out and an expression of hopefulness that next time Ally would simply tell her she felt left out instead of lying. Ally received the message loud and clear and seemed to be relieved. She is lucky to have such understanding friends so far... although I'm sure on some level they all do this now and again.

So, with that behind us... The evening was great. Ally did her homework happily. I think she is proud of my helping out at school so much and my presence there gives her a boost of confidence and she feels loved. We had a great dinner. Luke was happier because the mood in the house was just much improved. He reacts to her emotional state so much. I worry about that..

But I will take my good night. Just as I take the bad.... But much more happily. ;)


-- Post From My iPhone

My Doctor...

I just had an unusual experience at my doctor's office... and I had to share it and write it down.  I saw my doc yesterday and had a follow up with him today.  It was my annual physical, and also a chance for him to see me 24 hours or so after my antibiotics, steriods and homeopathic remedies.  I can already see improvement, though I am far from "all better."

We went through the usual routine.  My insurance and company require that I answer a series of health questions and achieve a certain score.  If my health is failing in certain areas, I must commit to an improvement plan in order to recieve coverage at a reduced rate. I think this is all a good, sensible thing and it does not bother me in the least.

I should mention this - I see a homeopathic doctor. He is also a traditional doctor... but I chose him because he is also homoepathic and believes in certain alternative treatments.

One of those treatments is a form of chiropractic adjustment and he usually evaluates me and gives me an adjustment of some kind each visit.  We did so today... and discussed some of the ways in which I am "off"  :-)))  For example... my hips don't line up... which he says is simply from every day life.... you extend your right leg more than your left and your body falls out of alignment.... so we worked to realign me!  ;-)

I shared with him how worried I am about my head and the flight still... and he assured me I will be fine as I am now hearing "popping noises" which tells him that the fluid is moving around and not stuck in there anymore.  :-)))))  He also told me to constantly use my nasal spray.....

But.... the reason for my post on my doctor is this:  as I was checking out.... he always walks me to the front desk.... and this time he says to me... "when do you leave again?"  I remind him I am leaving Friday. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out some cash. He selects a dollar bill and hands it to me and says "there is an old Jewish belief that if you help someone in need, you will be protected. I want you to give this to someone in need while you are on vacation, and God will protect you."

I was stunned... and I wanted to hug the man. What a kind thing to do. What a wonderful thing to share with me... especially today... I could not have needed that act of kindness more...

So, Dr. Israel, I will take your dollar with me to Mexico, where there is surely great need and I will give it to the first person I come across... so I will be protected my entire trip through.... thank you for sharing your belief with me... I promise to pay it forward.....

Sigh...

Thank you to all who sent me kind words via blog comment, facebook message and email.  I really appreciate the support, words of wisdom and reinforcement that I am not alone.  I think that is so much of why I keep this blog... the virtual support network... it means a great deal.

We had a really rough night last night.  Huge sigh.  As if to reinforce the fact that we need to move forward with a therapist, Ally had a pretty bad meltdown.  It can start for any reason.... the evening was going along just fine. Great even. And, then, with a simple "why don't you get your pajamas on"... it all went horridly wrong.  She just snapped.  Started screaming and freaking out.  It was irrational. It was awful. When she is in these moments she says awful things.. and they almost always escalate. Always.

And this one was a doozy........

At first, she was just pissed about the going to bed process (or so I assume).  Then... somewhere during it all... it comes out that she has told yet another lie to her friends... or one friend in particular.  Some of Ally's closest friends at school play basketball... and they have been talking about it all season. Well, apparently Ally has been feeling left out... so she decided to tell them that she plays basketball somewhere else.  So, one of the girls emails her - and in a somewhat snotty "I'm calling you out" sort of way asks her to let her know when her next game is and that she can't wait to come watch her.

Second Grade! Sigh.

Of course, this sends Ally into a fit... she is screaming that she doesn't want to go to school... that she hopes it's a snow day... that she hates herself... even that she wants to die. Scott is in the room with her at this point, and I am laying in bed just sobbing... feeling like death myself...

She tells him that she never feels that she has anything to say when all her friends start talking about the things that they do........ she always feels inferior..... and so she has started making things up to feel as if she fits in.  Ugh. This breaks my heart.... but she should be able to handle situations like this at her age.  There will always be someone who has done something you perceive as cooler... more fun... more interesting... that's life.  How do we pass on this oh-so important life skill to her??? How can I not help but feel as though I have failed to teach her something along the way????

Scott - in his infinite patience, wisdom and capacity for empathy - talked her through it all. She was afraid to apologize... and he walked her through the three ways she could. Gave her permission to email the girl back, but explained that email is the weakest form of an apology. That in person would be best, but that he understands if she feels she can't do that yet.  So... he helped her with the email.  Then, he told her that maybe next time, she could write a letter - much more personal - and the time after that, learn to apologize face to face.  It was amazing to hear how he worked her through the situation.... and allowed her to reach a place of peace so she could sleep....

She went off to school this morning, with no incident or issue. I hope things go well for her.  I hope she is able to apologize and offer explanation without feeling inferior or judged. A tall order.  An impossible hope maybe.

I worry so much for her... I hope and pray that these are just the early years... these issues soon will pass and she will reach a new height of maturity soon. 

Thanks for listening.......

Dr. Visits...

Ugh.  Ugh.  Ugh. This morning I woke up feeling like someone had taken a steel pipe and beaten the crap out of me. I hurt everywhere. It hurt to walk because my face and teeth rattled with every step.  I was so tired.  It hurt to breathe. The clothes on my body made my skin hurt. I knew something was very wrong.

I had a cold last week. A pretty wicked one, along with Luke's croup.... so I pushed my cold aside and did what every mom does... take care of your kids... do what needs to be done.  And then... somewhere along the way, even though I felt like my cold was getting better, it turned on me! Today's diagnosis at the doc, "serious sinus infection" - he prescribed me an antiobiotic... a nasal spray and some steriods.  Good times.  I also got two homeopathic remedies... and a "take it easy" chat.  ;-)  Sure, uh huh... okay.  I have to work extra this week. I have to get myself ready for vacay and I have to get the kids ready for life without us around... lots of time to "rest up!"  HAHA!!!!

I was so sad this morning. I hate being THIS sick... with THIS much to do.  I had to drag my butt out of bed and out of the house... and get to work..... I'm already off next week. Can't afford more days really.  As a part-timer, I don't get sick days... and no one is really sure of the process for me to take unpaid time.  But, most of all.... I just NEED to work because I already moved heaven and earth to take the time off that I am taking...... so I just feel bad. Ya know? I know you can't help being sick and plenty of co-workers have yelled at me today.... but I am doing the best I can.....

I am really hoping the kids will enjoy snuggling and watching a movie after I pick them up. What do you suppose the chances are?  :-)))))))

In addition to work... Scott and I had an appointment with a child therapist that Ally has seen in the past... we are working therapy back into Ally's world.... and we needed our "catch up" appointment to let her know what's going on.  It went really well.  I forget how much I like her and appreciate her words of wisdom.  Even sick as I am, I had to drag myself to that appointment.......

We caught her up on the past few years... and she sat in amazement at all we have done to continuously improve our family life.  I so appreciated her kind words... letting us know that sometimes our kids are born with certain personalities and traits that have nothing to do with our parenting... and despite all best efforts... you can't easily change them.

It is so damn hard not to blame yourself when your kids act out.  Act up.  Or at times have fits such as Ally does.  We learned today that we are RIGHT... Ally SHOULD be acting differently.  She should be able to emotionally handle the type of situations that she can't.  Something is definitely off.  :-(  At eight years of age, Ally should be able to wait in line at Disney without having a breakdown and then, not be able to stop herself once she starts down the road of rage...... she can't do that...... and despite our best efforts.... and increased time with her..... constant prayers for patience....... and what have you... we need more help. 

Everyone laughs about our difficult children.  Not really at us... but everyone talks about how we have our hands full.  But no one really understands what we are going through. No one has our children. Suffers the daily pains we do, especially with Ally.  We have changed our lives to accomodate her... and we will continue to do so.. because that is our role.... but that doesn't make it easy.  It is hard each and every day. I feel like the more we give, the more and more she needs...... and it's never enough.  It's easy to say she is a "spoiled brat" because that's what she acts like. She acts like it's never enough...... but there is an underlying issue there that we need to figure out.  She doesn't choose to act like that. We don't choose to walk on eggshells around her.

So........ I am rambling cuz I am sick..........  ;-))))))  I guess the moral of my story is that I am so thankful that Scott and I are the kind of parents that aren't too proud to say.... "we need help."  I constantly look at my hubby, in a world of men who would never do the same in his shoes... and thank God that he is the way he is... that he embraces therapy...  that he is so active in our kids lives and that we work together each and every day to figure this out.... cuz dammit we are GOOD parents!!!!!!!!!!  We try so damn hard. 

In the past year we have made a conscious decision to be home with Ally more. I am working part-time now. I give her as much of "me" as I can.  I am there after school. I volunteer for just about everything I can in the school.  I am present in her life...... she knows that we have made these changes because she is important to us.

We made a decision to NOT go out during the week if at all possible. No babysitters during the school week. We maintain a constant schedule. Consistent days. We come home and do home work right away, almost ALWAYS have a sit down dinner as a family (a true rarity these days) and we have a family time each evening. We try to have CALM before bed. We don't allow her to be involved in too many activities that will run her down.  We really work very hard to maintain a good routine for the happiness of both the kids......

We do a lot as a family... we have a lot of fun.  And, yes... sometimes Scott and I need to go out, so we get a babysitter. We are careful in our choices. We don't let just anyone watch our children. We have a preschool teacher and an elementary teacher regularly watch them, in addition to Nana and Papa. We are careful of how much time they spend in anyone else's care..... and we make sure they know they are our number one.  Know what I mean?

That does not mean we are perfect... but I have to give us some credit..... as our therapist did today... because she could see we focus on that "what we might be doing wrong"...... and she told us how very proud she is of all that we were doing right..... so I am giving us a verbal pat on the back here. Dammit this parenting is HARD and we work even harder at it........

I guess this is why God gave us the tough one. ;-)  He knew we wouldn't crack under the pressure. Though dammit..... sometimes I have my days....... just last night after a trying bed time routine where Luke didn't want to go to bed and Ally just couldn't calm down to sleep.... I said to Scott "I don't want to be a parent anymore........."  And I'm not ashamed to admit I have those moments........ I felt like screaming at Luke... and telling Ally just to sit freakin still for two minutes and she would fall asleep....... but I went and laid next to Luke and told him I would help him relax....... and Ally, well, my patience was less than stellar.... but I tried.  ;-)

So..... today..... the point here in this post (I'm pretty sure I've lost every reader by now)..... is that parenting is hard. And parenting my children is harder.  And I hate you just a little bit if your kid is easy going.... ;-) ...and I don't want to hear your judgement on the fact that mine are not.... cuz it's by no fault of mine... and I work harder than any parent with a super easy child...... and I am blessed to stand up to my challenge. And I'm doing a mighty fine job.  Sick as hell and everything........  ;-)

Get Your Motor Runnin'...

Mornings sometimes really suck at our house.  Seriously...... even when I think it's going to go okay... even when I actually get out of bed on time.. and the coffee has been made... and I am singing along to Katy Perry in the shower.... Ally wakes up... in the MOST FOUL mood and the energy of the entire household shifts.

It sucks!

She does not wake up smiliing.  Okay, okay.. I get this!  I am not a morning person either... but it's how she deals with it. Or rather, how she does NOT deal that really gets me.

Typical Morning:

• My alarm goes off at 5:30 am.
• I get two cups of coffee, bring one to Scott, jump in shower.
• While I am getting ready, Ally's alarm goes off and she stumbles into my bathroom to find me.
• She lays down on the bathroom floor.
• I ask "what's wrong honey?"  She tells me she's tired.
• Scott brings her clothes in.
• She gets dressed.
• She complains about each article of clothing.
• She realizes she forgot to change her underwear after completely dressing.
• She yells that Daddy forgot her socks.
• She huffs and puffs while I do her hair... complaining about how I do it.. or that hte product is getting her wet or that I'm going to burn her with the flat iron.
• She then starts in on "what's for breakfast" and is usually never happy with the answer. (Mind you... we MAKE an actual breakfast for her EVERY morning! It's not cold cereal around here!)
• She gets angry when we tell her to brush her teeth.
• She dawdles getting her coat, boots and hat on.... complete distracted or half asleep... or who knows!
• She's out the door......

She's just so unhappy sometimes.  I can understand hating morning... but it seems as if she just hates her life from the get-go each and every day!!!!  I  know I'm over reacting.  I just can't imagine how hard her life is, that she has THAT much to be upset about.... really? REALLY????

It's days like this that I can't help but feel like a failure as a parent... that I missed some milestone... some developmental something or other that I didn't adequately give her... something very fundamental....

She is my daily challenge. Her moods make or break my day. And it's not easy living like that.

Did  I mention we start therapy again this week?  I'm not ashamed to ask for help with this one.  God knows I need it.

Wonderful Weekend...

So.... we had just a wonderful weekend.  Although I had a bit of a cold that kept me from feeling 100%, I still gave the weekend my all.  :-)  I had to work on Thursday and Friday... a rarity these days.  Friday night was pizza and movie night... since Scott's promotion was official Thursday and announced Friday, he had some celebrating to do... so he went out with his department Friday after work.  His first official act as Director was to close the office at 4:00 and go to the Crazy Cowboy with everyone.  How great a boss is he?  ;-)

While Daddy might have missed family movie night, he surely deserved the night out with his own people... and I'm glad he went.  We had a little celebration of our own for close friends and family Saturday night... got some Jimmy Johns platters and celebrated at our house with some tasty beverages!  It was wonderful for everyone who could to make it on short notice and we missed those that couldn't.

Our cousin Gracie slept over last night.. and the kids stayed up nice and late... and Uncle Scott made french toast for all this morning... we had a fun breakfast with Gracie... and Uncle Adam, Aunt Jane, Jilli and Lyla came after church to join in the fun. It was a nice way to kick start our morning, having them here for breakfast.

We got ready to head out soon after that... as we had a big day ahead of us! We had "baby Rhen's" birthday party this afternoon!  Now that Rhen is 2 though, Ally is considering not calling him baby Rhen anymore.  I am not so sure Luke can do it. I have visions of Luke calling him baby Rhen when he is 12 and Rhen is 11 still.  HA!  ;-)  It was a wonderful party, with Kristen's family who have been like my family since we were in high school.

After that celebration, we went to my Grandma's house because my mom was making a whirlwind trip through Michigan....  and we also celebrated my Aunt Cyndie's birthday.  The kids were really diggin' this twice the ice cream and cake business!!!!  ;-)  We had a really great afternoon over at my Grandma's and it was great to see my mom and Dave, if only for a little while.  Always easier to say goodbye when I know when I am going to see them again.... and Ally and I already have our flights booked for April 2nd!!!!

Pictures to come SOON cuz I got some great pics from this GREAT weekend... but right now, I need to do some printing and Project Life....

Have a great week bloggity-blog friends!!!!!!

One Week....

In one week... ONE TEENY TINY SHORT WEEK... I will be here.... or here... or here!!!!! We don't know which resort we will end up at, but it will be one of these three..... it's called a Dreams Six Golden Apple Square Deal!  We get a discounted rate for NOT knowing exactly where we will be until we step off the plane... but did you look at the resorts???  WHO CARES which one we get!  We can't go wrong.... and we are giddy.....

I had to drive to Detroit to get an expedited passport, but she is here... and she's gorgeous... and this little baby is gonna get me some fun in the sun!

I am pretty excited about this little trip.... thankful to Scott's parents for watching our kids so we can get away... for a wonderful parent of someone Ally goes to school with for assisting with getting her to and from school... and to my hubby for planning it....

I did a good deal of shopping in Chicago last weekend to get myself ready. A few new dresses... some cropped jeans... some shorts... and a new bathing suit.  I'm ready to go!!!!  :-)

I'm Alive!

Did you miss me?  Is anyone even out there?  I know, I know... I suck.  I haven't blogged since mid-February, and even then... it was half-hearted.  No pictures.  No real updates of any substance!!!!  I haven't blogged Ally's Valentines Day party at school, our over night trip to the Holiday Inn, Chicago, or any other number of huge life events!!!! I am, however, keeping up on Project Life... and keeping my head above water at work... and staying on top of school.... so you have to do what you can do!

I do miss the blogging though, and I vow to try to do better!  With all that is currently going on and coming up though, I'm not going to make any promises.  Life is full and busy and that is wonderful! I have been reminded daily of my many blessings lately and I am just so freakin' thankful for my life!!!!!!  Life. Is. Good.  :-)

So....... what has been happening!!??? I have no pictures today.  I am blogging from work. Yes, I am at work!  HOLY CRAP!  I haven't worked a Friday in about a year.  But, this week, I was traveling home from Chicago on Monday and Luke came down with Croup on Tuesday... so my three work days shifted to Wednesday through Friday.  I am so lucky to have the flexibility to do that though!! 

Moving on.  Updates!!!  Since we last chatted, both Scott and I recovered from wicked colds. We were both sick for a week each.  Not at the same time, luckily, but each pretty down and out for a full week.  Scott's turned into a sinus infection and he ended up on an antibiotic.  But, we came out of that illness... and just in time for things to get busy!!!

I planned an awesome Valentines Day party for Ally and her class (pat, pat myself on the back!).  I took pictures of every one of the kids, printed them (on my fancy little printer) and the kids made frames for them and took them home for their valentines gift to their parents.  We played Valentines Day bingo and ate lots of yummy treats!!!  It was a huge hit and as it was my second party as the official room mom, it went much more smoothly than Halloween!  I am getting in down!!!!!

On a similar note... I was asked to be on the PTO Board at Queens.... since I have been so involved and volunteering so much... they decided to make me an officer.  :-))))) They must be hard up!  HA!!!  No... I am truly excited to be more involved and take on this leadership role. I absolutely LOVE our school and enjoy the time I spend there. It's like a great big family... and I have never felt so much support and acceptance - as we were new this year!  Ally has really flourished there!

Oh... and get this kids... I'm gonna be treasurer.  HAHAHA!!!!!!!!  They are putting me in charge of the money.............  you're laughing righ now, aren't you???  Good thing I am married to a CPA.  ;-)

The week after that.... Scott took a little business trip.... and in the two days that he was gone, our water got turned off, I lost our dogs, and Ally puked everywhere. Good times!!!!  He came home and we took a little overnight trip to the Holiday Inn here in Jackson... just to have a night away and go swimming!!! We stayed in a kids' suite... they had bunk beds in a little room off our room, which had a king bed and a pull out couch!  Cute rooms!!! Nice and new. Restaurant on site where the kids ate free during our entire stay.  It was a great night away!!!

We went and visited my new(er) niece, Charlotte... and got some great pictures of the kids together. I do have a few of those since I can grab the images from Facebook.

The kids were so great with her... but they do have a lot of experience with babies after all!  Ally can be quite the helper when it comes to her little cousins... and even Luke has grown to love the babies.  He's a tough sell though as he's pretty sure he's still the baby himself... and, at home... he very much is.

The following week was a busy one.  We were all home together for Presidents Day and we went out and about for lunch, went to Target to spend our gift cards from Nana and Papa and enjoyed the day together.  Ally had a special Girl Scouts event, Thinking Day, which I helped out at.



That weekend, we had a Lock-In at the school... which I have a zillion fun pictures of.  The kids had a blast, but the highlight was surely the Tug of War at the end...... watching all those grades compete against one another was too much fun!!! The squeals of delight were totally worth the headache that followed.

Then, Saturday morning I got up and drove to Chicago for a fabulous girls' weekend with some of my favorite people in the world!!!! Saturday, my friend Beth and I shopped the day away on Southport... met up with Sandy for sushi and martinis at our favorite sushi place, Rise on Southport... and had a wonderful girlie day. Shopping. Eating. Drinking.  Talking. 

Sunday... I headed over to my friend Chelsea's... and we once again, met up with Beth to shop the Mag Mile this time.  We had an early dinner at Bandera... and headed to the David Gray Concert at the Chicago Theater. What an amazing show!!!!  Chels and I were giddy for the show, as wel always are.... we are HUGE music lovers... and in turn, concert lovers!!!

David put on an accoustic show... very different from his usual concert.  Scott and I have recently seen him perform with Ray LaMontagne at Meadowbrook and in Windsor.  This was a much different show. Low key... think XM Coffee House arrangements.  Super powerful stuff......

After the show... we headed to a bar to grab a bite and a drink..... and then, we had to walk back by the theater to get to the Red Line to go "home."  As we walked back by... we noticed a small group of peole hanging out by the "back doors" of the theater, near some large buses. Tour buses?  Hmmm... we stop and wait... and minutes later:

Mr. Gray exits... and signs my ticket and poses for all little picture with us. PURE JOY and happiness to meet someone you think ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!! What a kind and gracious man he was...... truly loves and appreciates his fans........... it was so freakin' amazing..........

Monday morning, I enjoy sleeping in late... and a lesiurely morning with Beth and Chelsea.. coffee... talk, talk, talk... and I head home to pick Luke up at a normal time and have dinner with my hubby and kids... what a great start to my week!!!!

Poor Luke... Tuesday, he comes down with Croup, so I stay home with him.... and I have a nasty cold too... and we are all just plugging away at our week now..... it has been a good one though. Full of joys despite the stupids colds......

I am proud to share that Scott was promoted this week!  I am super proud of my fabulously smart, amazing, hard-working hubby... who deserves this more than anyone I know.  :-)  He was made Director of Tax Compliance and Accounting just this week, with the announcement going out, company-wide this morning. I love that people are coming into my office... congratulating ME.  :-)))))  He oversees the entire Tax Department now, reporting to the  Vice President of Tax.... he will kick some ass in this job. I know it.  :-)

So much to enjoy and be grateful for.  Our lives are truly blessed and full.... and I am thankful for every minute..................



Yeah, Yeah, Yeah....

So, I suck... it's been a while since I've posted... and I DO have so much to share... stories to tell... and PICTURES!!!!! But, I've been busy...and that's a good thing!  :-)

Today, I am bouncing off the walls excited at all mine and Scott's plans coming up!!!!!!  My hubby gets in these mid-winter moods... and I have to say, we ALL benefit!  :-)  On Valentines Day, he came home and surprised us all with a "let's stay at a hotel with a pool this coming weekend!"  Just for fun... no other reason... and Ally has a long weekend with Presidents Day. So, we are gonna stay at a Kids' Suite at the new Holiday Inn (Ally calls it "the one that Uncle Adam built!") and swim and have a little night away!!!!! FUN!

Then, Scott announces last night..... "I think we should go to Mexico....."  HAHA!!!! He found a great deal at a super nice place.. and so, there you have it. We are going. It's all booked.  ;-)  And... I found amazing cheap flights to St. Louis to go see my Mom with Ally for Spring Break... and our Outer Banks trip is all booked, flights and everything.  SWEET!!!

Scott also announces that he'd like us to go to South Haven for a week this summer.... he was obvioulsy in a planning mood too.  ;-)

Lunch Date!

Today Scott and I met for lunch and it was just what the doctor ordered!!!!  We have been sick, busy and just plain not taking the time we should for our relationship.... and that one hour (and a half technically!) was just what we need to catch UP!!!! We started chatting last night... and ended up staying up far too late for us (1 am!) as we require a lot of sleep to function.  We just have a LOT going on right now (a post for another time.......) and we need to do a better job of talking and just touching base.....

It was such a great break in the middle of our day... and I truly think the best conversations happen when you are out of your element... as in not at home!!!!!!  At least this works for us anyway. The only thing that would have made it better was a bottle of wine, but our employers frown upon drinking during work hours.  Such sticklers for rules.....  :-))))))

We talked about jobs, hopes, dreams, houses, school, what the hell we are doing with our lives... seriously people... it's like we sloved world hunger in an hour (and a half!).  It just felt good....
We too often get in a rut of kids lives and busy-ness..... jobs... and activities... and we forget to touch base and talk to our partner in this crazy journey of life!  It's really nice to have a moment, and we didn't even have to plan this one... we just happened upon it....... all the better.  :-)

Glimmer of Hope...

I feel better today!  YAY!!!!!  It's such a relief when you start to feel better after an illness.  Every time I'm sick, no matter what the time period... I always feel such a sense of euphoria when I feel well again. It makes me thankful that I am, overall, healthy!  And it makes me feel all the more sorry for the chronically ill. 

Scott, however, is feeling worse today.  His throat is super sore... and I have heard of a few cases of strep, so I hope he doesn't have that.  My throat never hurt.  I feel so bad for him.  It's his second day home from work and he NEVER stays home..... so I know he's hurtin' when he does!

I was able to get up extra early and get dressed and ready before it was time to wake the kids up.  Ally is actually getting up herself these days, using the alarm on her iPod Touch.  :-) She likes this. But, she always brings her clothes into my bathroom, cuz it's all warm from my shower and my being shut in there for the previous hour.  It's the warmest room in the house I think. So, we got her dressed and I could actually make eggs for breakfast and get us all dressed and out the door. Dogs out and fed.  Garbage to the street.  And everyone got to school and work on time!

Thank God for my health and the pep back in my step!!!  Hooray!!!!!! :-)

Still Sick...

Ugh. Woke up this morning, head pounding worse than ever (maybe cuz I didn't take my Nyquil last night?) and this time, I felt horridly nauseated too.  Completely stuffed. Still achy, but no where near as bad as when it all began... and generally still run down.  I feel awful.  Mostly because I don't have the usual pep in my step.  I need to be healthy for my kids again.  Healthy so I can actually THINK at work instead of coast through my day in a haze.  I have lots of evening commitments this week.  A Lock-In meeting at school tomorrow... Information Night at school Wednesday and sushi with the girls after.  I am supposed to meet my step-sis and her new baby Thursday for lunch.  A jewelry party Thursday evening.  And, Friday is Ally's big Valentines Day party at school, which I coordinate........ no time to be sick!!!!!!!

So, I'm going to the doc tomorrow. He will likely tell me I have a virus and there's nothing he can do. It's times like this I actually HOPE for an infection so I can be proactive and take something..... I'm a mom buddy, I don't have TIME to be sick!!!!!!!!

Scott started with it Saturday night. I feel so bad for him. We couldn't make it to our Superbowl Party. We would have been the biggest party poopers.  We are a pathetic crew......

We were looking at pictures (mostly watching our Apple TV screen saver) one evening... and we longingly looked at pictures from our trip, just the two of us to Scottsdale last March...... ah..... to dream. We could really use a get away.  I am starting to really despise winter.  I'm sick of feeling cold and crappy and I'm sick of the yuck that the snow brings. Everything is dirty.  My cleaning lady comes today.... and my  house will be clean for exactly a few hours until the kids and the dogs drag the mud and snow in.  Lovely.

Aren't I a cup of cheer today?  ;-)

My boss came in this morning and asked me if I had anything for our weekly meeting.  Um....that would be a big fat NO.  I'm worthless buddy. I'm so sorry.  Go commiserate with my kids. They aren't a big fan of me either.

We did very little this past weekend, but Ally and I did make it to church on Saturday evening and ran the errands needed to get stuff for her book report poster project.  Friday night, we got takeout and the kids were in a silly mood....... I want to post these pictures of them doing what they do when we're cooped up at home.... the love to ride their scooters... and then, they all decided to run and slide down the hall.  This is what you do for fun when your parents suck....  ;-)

 

Even Daddy got into it..........  :-)