So, this month.... we were LUCKY enough to find a wonderful Volleyball instructor to come in and work with the girls!!! She is the niece of my co-leader... she is just in college.... and just as sweet as can be! The girls loved her.. and more importantly, they LISTENED to her! They were so excited to learn the sport of volleyball!
On top of it all, I had a proud Mom/Brownie Leader moment with Ally. During the lesson... the girls were paired off.... and Ally had been in a threesome with two of her good friends. As they were paired off by the coach, a couple different girls were told to go partner up with another little girl in their class. Now this little girl is a true bully. This is her first year in Scouts and we are working very hard with her, but she is, without a doubt, a very difficult little girl. She acts out and is very "mean" to other kids. She's the girl out there on the floor throwing the balls at the other girls as hard as she can. And I give the girls credit, as a group, they react pretty well. So.... when the coach tells the other girls to partner up, they flatly refuse to do so. And not in the nicest of ways.
Now, I may have my issues with Ally.... but I will tell you this.... when any other adult tells her to do something, she is respectful and she does it. Which is exactly what she did when the coach looked at her. I could see that she was not happy, but she did it... At one point, she had to take a break.... and she came over a got a bottle of water. Another Mom approached her and told her they were really proud of how she stepped up and partnered with the girl. I could see Ally welling up... so I intervened. I could physically see how hard this was for her. She felt rejected by her friends and thrown under the bus. She was sad she was missing out on something fun with them... but she did it. She did not say a word.
The rest of the time went on... and Ally was with others again... and the little girl who we had such a hard time with, actually had to leave early. Ally seemed happy and fine the rest of the time.
When she went to the locker room to change.... she broke down..... just crying silently. I took care of all the girls... got them upstairs and looked at Ally, who was with one of her best friends (Caitee was just hugging her while she cried) and told her to take some time and come up when she was ready. That's the thing with being in charge of all the girls... I can't just give MY girl all the attention.
And she did... she came up on her own... and seemed okay.
I thought for SURE I was going to be punished for this, by her acting out later.... when we got in the car, I praised what she did. Told her how very proud of her I was. And kept it simple. Ally is very uncomfortable with too much praise. She smiled a quiet smile and that was that. She never acted out as a result.
I shared what happened with Scott and he was proud of her too.... we didn't talk about it too much... but I want her to know I am proud of her for many, many things today. So many things. I am proud she listened to an adult, especially when her friends did not! She stood up and did the right thing in the face of other's choices to do otherwise. I am proud that she played with the little girl that no one else would.... and took her shots as the little girl definitely was not the nicest to her. I was proud that she didn't break down during the meeting when praised by another mom. Proud of how her close friend and she worked out the emotion of it all. And proud that she didn't feel the need to take it out on me later. Just all around ridiculously proud of my little girl.... who has learned so much in a year's time and come so far.
Last year, this would have gone VERY differently. ;-)
And... if I wasn't leading her troop this year... I would have missed the entire moment.... so I thank God I have the opportunity to be there and see the amazing person that my daughter is.
And yes, she totally got a candy bar after the meeting. :-)
2 comments:
Verrrry Cool!!!!!
This was a great post, made me tear up. On another note, you might try a "last chance agreement" with the mean girl and her parent. Make them aware that the bullying will not be tolerated and if it continues - kick her out.
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