I think I might be a bad mom. Just today, Scott asked me about carving pumpkins with Ally... Huh! We didn't do that at home this year. She did it (sorta!) in Chicago at a party... of course, Auntie Beth actually carved her pumpkin, but details, details! We have no pumpkins at home... none. Even the one carved in Chicago this past weekend has already been disposed of because it went rotten already...
So... apparently, my dear daughter asked about carving a pumpkin at home. She also asked about Halloween decorations. Ugh. Double ugh. We have very few actual Halloween decorations... and I got exactly NONE of them out this year. I did not decorate. I barely even acknowledged the holiday. I guess I DID get the kids costumes though... but it's not like THAT was hard. It's not like I made them or anything!
I just don't think like that..... I can barely keep my house picked up let alone decorate these days. Wow... I hope things go better at Christmas...... will it be December 22nd and Ally will be asking when are we going to get a Christmas tree so Santa will come?
Just yesterday.... Scott went to feed the dogs... and there was no dog food. He had forgotten to get food. I can't count the number of times we have realized we need diapers or formula or that we had no milk for breakfast.... and no offense Concord.... but it's not like you can exactly run down to the corner store and get what you need! :-) Organic formula is not carried in the local grocer....... hmm..... I wonder if diapers ARE?
Is there something wrong with me that I cannot keep these things straight? Sometimes, I do feel so put together and on top of things... but as of late, I really do feel like a "bad mom!"
The other day, I barely made it home from work in time to get Ally to soccer at 6:00 pm..... and that was a stretch getting out of work to be home by that time!
Don't get me started on the evening routine of dinner.......... by the time I get home and pick up the kids, get home and get something together for dinner... it is truly bed time! It is crazy..... and I do not forsee an end in sight, at least any time soon....
The problem as I see it... is my job I guess. The bigger problem as I KNOW it... is that I don't want to back off on my job.... so what do I do? Things are ramping up at work and getting exciting and I am THRILLED with that. Stressed, but thrilled.
Does THAT make me a bad mom? Do I chose other things over my kids? Why do women beat themselves up over this? Would a man have the same argument in his mind???? Maybe some. God... that thought doesn't make me FEEL any better....
Ah..... I think I am just SICK, hormonal and emotional..... :-)
But still... today, I feel like a bad mom and I'm just going to go with the feeling.... and try to do better tomorrow......
3 comments:
Have you been reading my mind? I was just so depressed today at what a rat race life has become. Work, home, dinner, clean, bed. Wash rinse repeat. And throw errands and god almighty spending time with your KIDS in there and there is just not a moment to breath easy. Its depressing. Unfortunately, I don't have the option to not work so I just have to figure out how to make it all work. Its stressful. I hate feeling like I have a to-do list that never ends. I am late for everything. I forget things if I don't make a list. I have lists for lists for lists. Its neverendig.
Oh Nic, I totally feel your pain and you ARE NOT a bad mom. Sometimes we got our sh*t together and sometimes we don't. Try to stay positive, know when to ask for help, and like you said "tomorrow is a new day" :)
Nina....
Halloween decorations and pumpkins come and go ...just tell your kids you love them and give them lots of hugs. Ally gets lots of things thrown at her at school...just go with the flow...soon she will ask about Thanksgiving, Santa not being real, and wanting a car for her birthday!!! Just smile and know you are not the first Mom to go through it...I love you honey! I think you do lots with the kids and they will love you when they are older (smile).
Mom
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