Ally's Surgery...

My poor little girl had to have surgery on her nose again. It is not a big deal, the surgery itself that is. But, it is a REALLY BIG DEAL to her.  She hates everything about the doctor these days.  The last time I took her to the doc, she had strep throat.  She had just had her physical a few weeks prior and she had to get shots.  So, this time, I promised her that there would be NO SHOTS.  I thought for sure we would just be given an antibiotic or told it was a virus.  I learned a valuable less that day my friends:

NEVER EVER PROMISE NO SHOTS WHEN GOING TO THE DOCTOR!

She did have strep... but she was also vomitting so violently, that she had to be given a shot of antibiotics. GOOD GOD!!! I have lied to my child and she now has proof of that lie. I am losing face! My word means nothing!!!!!!!  Shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, needless to say... when we went to the ENT for her surgical consult... she wasn't buyin' anything I was sellin'. She was quite convinced that he was just going to cut her wart right out of her nose right there. She worked herself up into a fit!!!!!!

Then, she HEARD when we actually did schedule the surgery and she got all worked up about it.  Even though we had done this before... last year... she still got all freaked out.  It was almost worse actually that she had gone through it.  The biggest trauma was being alone in that operating room, without us.....

And that part breaks my heart.  :(  Ally hates to be alone or feel alone.  And, I can totally relate.  My poor girl inherited this from me. We are both just so outgoing and social that to be alone is torture... and to do something so scary alone is severe torture!  So.... she was scared..... and there were many tears when we had to say goodbye.....

Ugh. So. Hard.

But, she was a trooper and the nurses at the outpatient surgery center are some of the kindest people I have ever met!!! They seriously just did everything they could to make her comfortable and make her smile. They fell all over themselves to make her happy... and I am so grateful!!!!

The surgery itself lasted less than 5 minutes... it took longer for them to prep and put her under. The anesthesiologist was awesome too... we were told after the fact that they let her take her beloved Duncan (a stuffed dog) in with her... and he held the mask up to Duncan first and put him "under."  He told Ally he was going to repair his leg.  :-)  So considerate...... I'm sure that made her smile. 

She came out of everything just fine... and STARVING. The not being able to eat breakfast thing had to be one of the harder parts....  She got a popsicle, some juice and a chocolate muffin as soon as it was all over....

And lots of TLC from everyone the rest of the day.....

Then, we had some interesting conversation at night.  Good lord sometimes the child scares the living shit out of me. She can act so "old" with the types of questions she asks and the statements she makes sometimes. So freakin' profound... and sometimes, in this case, very sad....

She was crying about getting older... she asked when we were going to die and how old she would be?  WHAT??? WHERE IS THIS COMING FROM????  She asked how old she would be when we turned 100 (my great-grandma recently passed away at 100 so she must think we live until then). Then, she said something that just broke my heart into a million pieces....  She said "Mommy - time is just going by so fast.... I wish it would slow down."

Where the f- did that come from??????  She's SEVEN!!!!!!!! That is such an adult feeling to have.  And it actually breaks my heart that she feels that way! She should be playing and not having a care in the world at this age!  Time should be of no consequence!

I have been racking my brain trying to figure out where this is coming from. She has not experienced any great loss recently..... or at all really.  No one that she is that close to her has died... or gone away.... what am I missing????  Could it have been the trauma and drama of the day wearing on her?  Has she been picking up on anything going on at home or school or anyplace?  I try to recall the past days' conversations that I've had around her.

I know that she doesn't miss a beat. Not a single thing.  I had to work my schedule around her surgery and move my work hours... coordinate with Scott, my in-laws, move meetings and have a quick work call the morning of surgery in front of her.  She says to me "Mommy I'm sorry you had to rearrange so much because of me."  OH GOD...  :(  Do I make you FEEL that way baby girl???  It is SOOOOO not how it is...... I am HAPPY to rearrange my schedule!  Ugh.....

I have to watch what I say and do in front of her. She takes everything so literally, and apparently to heart, that I can't be so quick to have conversations that may seem like nothing to an adult. She is taking things hard lately.......   and it just makes me so sad for her to take everything in such a way.

"Life goes by too fast......."  Such an adult way to feel. Be a little kid my darling girl.... you have far too much time to be an adult...... I promise to work harder to make you have fewer cares in this world...