I was over reading "my girl's" blog on Momastery. (You know like Glennon and I are best buds and she can be called "my girl.") She makes me think. A lot. Not something I need help with.... as I tend to think myself to death most days... but usually, she makes me think good things that allow me to cope with the daily life of being a parent, wife, friend, employee, citizen and child of god.
She makes me think bigger and outside of myself.
But, she also makes me question this age of social media. The age in which many moms blog about their kids. Or women blog about their lives, their favorite recipes and their ideas for staying organized.
Sometimes, when I am in the right mood... this is all so wonderful and helpful. But man, sometimes I get really, REALLY overwhelmed.
Like really!
As women, we put a lot of pressure on ourselves. Men do to but I can list the number of men reading this on one finger and that would be my hubby. ;-) I know he puts a lot of pressure on himself.... but let's focus here.
Back to women.
We put so much pressure on ourselves to do it all. And do it right. And we look outside ourselves and our immediate worlds for help and advice. And we get it. And then, we look back inside our world and realize we don't do things that way. And then we feel inferior. And ashamed. And bad.
Then.. if you're like me... you go and make a plan to turn it around! And be super organized like the mom on that one blog... take pictures and document your kids' lives like the mom on another one .... and oh by the way, you want to do it all while working and supporting your family... while trying to maintain a level of fun, socialization and sex appeal (to aforementioned husband).
And then.... you fail.
Miserably fail.
And you beat the shit out of yourself for it... cuz it just seemed so easy and if you could just do it like everyone else says they do it... you just know you could be amazing.
What we all forget on a daily basis is that we are already amazing. It just looks so different. Because we all started from such different places.... our own amazing looks different than super amazing mommy blogger's amazing.
And no matter how hard I try - my pictures are never going to look like super amazing photo mommy blogger's photos.
Yet a piece of me feels inferior every time I read and see others' perceived perfection.
What did women do before? How did they parent so well and feel so much better before they had all so called "support?" Cuz I am really beginning to question what sort of support we really have out there????? Is it all just a contest for moms trying to prove that they can do this better than someone else.
I remember when I started blogging and joined Facebook that I felt really good. I felt like there were all these women who talked about some real shit and seemed supportive. And people COMMENTED and you felt like a community.
But that got lost somewhere along the way. And people don't do that anymore. Or maybe no one reads or cares to. Or maybe everyone feels like me and when you compare you life to someone else's you too feel inferior.
I don't know. I feel that there's too much out there. That maybe we put too much out there. That in the quest to share and know one another, we have lost touch of what is real.... and we are relying on a virtual world... a virtual reality.
I went off Facebook and my mom said "now you have to call me."
That should go unsaid! Now that my mom lives out of town again.... I SHOULD call her and she should call me and she should learn news of my kids and me.... from me.
And my friends should ask about my life because they care and they want to interact, and me in turn, theirs....
There is so much out there for the world to see, that we don't care about the things that matter anymore. People put their pain out there and at first we think.... how brave. Then, we grow numb to it. Glennon is a prime example. She has a lot to share. A lot of pain. And she is getting bashed instead of supported. Why put it out there at all? And moreover, why the hell would you beat someone (you likely don't even KNOW!) when they're down????
I don't know. I just get to thinking sometimes... and here I am.... writing in this virtual world about how much I question the fact that I am writing and choose to write in this virtual world.
That my friends is what you call IRONY. :-)
Our world is growing but becoming less. Feelings are made smaller. Email makes us brave to say things we would never in person. I have to teach my kids that now. Never email something you wouldn't say to someones face. Also - be so careful because the written word can be misconstrued every time. Tone cannot be heard via text, email or blog.
Can you tell if I am angry, sad, indifferent or happy in this post? I doubt it. ;-)
No comments:
Post a Comment