So, yesterday my Facebook status read "So you're telling me this parenting business doesn't get any easier...."
It was prompted by an event among Ally and a friend. An event where one girl hurts another and feelings are hurt on both sides, so then friends don't talk to friends and others take sides and you end up with a little girl who doesn't understand and you are left to pick up the pieces.
This isn't going to stop anytime soon. She is only nine. She is only in the third grade.
Children can be so cruel. I include her in the equation. I am not taking her side. I do know my daugther is hurting, but I also know my daughter and I know she played a role. And always will.
It doesn't matter what the details were.... it doesn't matter who did what, to whom. I told Ally to go to school today and apologize. She doesn't know what for or why. I simply told her to be the bigger person. That friendship is always more important that who is right or wrong and who did what to whom. None of that matters. Always be the bigger person Ally. Always rise above.
She's so fragile and strong all at the same time. I look at her and I see this. I think she is more fragile than strong right now though... and she acts tough to cover. She hates being seen as weak.
She hates being seen as wrong.
She has all these adult feelings and notions..... I wish she could just be a clueless, happy kid. But she's not. That's not the cards we were dealt.
So, I am feeling a little down and overwhelmed today. I'm letting myself think that I have years of girl drama to deal with. Years of tears to dry. Feelings to repair. And years of teaching her to be the bigger person... to say she's sorry no matter who was wrong... cuz when it comes to people... to friends... the person is more imporant than the act.
I wonder how Ally is doing today at school. I wonder if she was able to do it. I wonder if I will pick up a sad little girl or a happy little girl.
How do I teach her to just be exactly who she is... and that the friends who love that person are the friends she needs and should have.
Never gets easier.... they carry our hearts all around with them.... and they are open and exposed.... and they're kids, so frankly, they're not so good with protecting them. Our hearts are bound to get inujred.
It's the nature of the game.
Game on.
3 comments:
Aw shucks...I also remember a little girl who was crushed by friends and "talk"...its so hard at the time...but things will work out...like they did for you!
Girls can be so mean! I wouldn't go back to those days for anything. Take notes will you? Not sure if I will survive when my 3 are going through this!
Years of girl drama...never really ends. Unfortunately some turn into women who do the same thing. Best thing we can teach our daughters is this is not okay.
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