Not Feeling Bloggy....

I don't know what's up with me lately... I don't feel much like blogging.  I think there are a number of reasons for this..... one, I wonder "is there anyone out there actually READING this? does anyone care???".... two, I would rather do a zillion other things with free moments....... three, the only moments I make for it (that are free) are usually my lunch hour (like now) at work, and I don't always have that free... and definitely don't have access to any pictures!

So....... here I am. I have a moment..... so I am gonna do a quick update and ponder my existence in blog world.  ;-)

We are into the third week of summer. Rather, we are into the third week of summer break!!!!  As I look ahead and plan (I am ALWAYS planning!!!), I see there are only EIGHT more weeks before Ally returns to school... and Luke starts PRESCHOOL!!!!! That seems short. I feel my throat closing in.  I need more summer time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love the summer mornings. I love not having to get Ally up too early (she still has to get up somewhat early on the days they go places). I love the flexibility we have.  I love the things we have been doing. I love the WEATHER. I don't want summer break to end........ okay.... I know it's not yet..... but still.  I may, just MAY be over-reacting.  :-))))))

So.... eight more glorious weeks of fun.  We are in the third week of fun.......and the kids are FINALLY healthy. Ally seems to have kicked an almost three week chest cold..... and Luke is pretty much through it as well. My poor hubby is another story... he is super sick. Home in bed sick. Can barely function sick.

I am gonna throw myself a little paragraph pity party... are ya ready?  Here it goes.....

Prior to Scott getting sick, he had two weeks of mostly travel at work. AKA - he was not home to help me at night. Then, we had Father's Day... and I pretty much gave him the weekend off. Then, he was sick last weekend.... and into this week... so I've been single parenting it.... for going on three weeks.  This is when Mommy starts to lose her shit a little bit.  ;-) But, I'm keeping it together the best I can......  I feel more exhausted than anything.....

Pity party over......

The kids and I have gone to the pool a ton..... I usually try to either make sure Ally has a friend that is going to be there, or take one... cuz she is much happier having someone to swim in the big pool with.  Makes perfect sense to me.  Luke, is happy to play in the baby pool with me nearby or with whoever is in there.  And I usually sit near that pool. We have worked out a great routine there... and have enjoyed the pool more than I can say!! It is like a vacation for us every time we go. A great break from it all right here in town.  A good decision, all around.........

Luke is getting VERY brave...... he will pretend swim and walk all over that little pool.  He is becoming more outgoing and interacting with the other kids there.  I am super proud of how he is blossoming..... he really is ready to interact with more kids and I can't wait for him to start at St. Mary's in the fall.

Things are going wel with Ally too.  She is really responding to our new techniques with her... the most significant change coming from my trying to empathize and let it go. That is my mantra.  I chant "be empathetic and forget it...." over and over and over.  Don't make fun.  Don't judge. This shit is working people!  :-))))))

She starts to get upset and I tell her that I'm sorry and try to either leave it at that, or think of a time that I can share with her where I felt the same. Then, I leave it. Sometimes this means I have to walk away (especially if I'm particularly annoyed with her). Sometimes I have to bite my tongue (particularly when she is being snotty). My greatest response when she's just being snotty lately is "I'm sorry you feel the need to treat me this way/talk to me this way/react this way."  Then, I leave it alone.

99% of the time...... she comes out of it. For example... this morning (mornings are NEVER good), she was starting to get upset about the fact that she doesn't know how to tie. 

Yes.... yes... I know this is some epic parent fail on my part.  But... in my defense.... she does NOT take direction. I have TRIED to teach her. Always ends in tears.  So.... my defense mechanism is to just avoid. Healthy? A good choice? Hell no it's not... but it's what I got now..... so we move forward.....

Anyway... she is starting to get worked up. I can see it. Her body language is telling me this is bad.  She has Day Camp today and the counselors take her to her golf lesson. Her golf shoes are tie shoes. She is either going to have to wear her golf shoes until her lesson at 10:45 (a poor choice in footwear for the morning's activities) or ask a counselor to tie her shoes (insert gasps of horror).  I knelt down in front of her and said "Ally I am so sorry, I know it's very embarrasing and hard but you have a choice here..."  And, I went and brushed my teeth....

She dressed herself. Must have thought about it. And came into the bathroom and said.... "I want to wear my pink and purple sandals and I will ask someone to help me with my shoes."  Subject dropped. She was fine.

Good stuff. May seem simple to you. Not simple to me. Big, huge improvement.  In both of us. I would try to either convince her it was going to be okay.... make her feel like I was stuffing her feelings in a bag, or worse yet... I might have told her it was her own fault she couldn't tie... that would happen if she was starting to scream or have a fit and I was getting upset...... but I didn't... I just said I was sorry for how she felt.... and left it. She dealt with her feelings on her own.... and made a good choice.

Baby steps.........

Scott is not as practiced in all of this.  It's harder for him cuz he doesn't go with us to therapy each week. Have the conversations as often... also, he isn't around to practice this for himself as often either. So, I usually end up reminding him after he has engaged with her and escalated things.... and then, he's mad at me... and Ally's having a fit... and things have gone south fast.

It takes a lot of work and attention and PRACTICE to parent.... especially to parent my children..... who I have determined are only so hard because, of course, they are brilliant.  :-)

So.... then, Ally and I drove to day camp... she was in such good spirts today. She and I sang some Adele at the top of our lungs.. and I dropped off a very happy girl..... I hope I pick that same girl up today too!!!!  :-)